Calling and Txting
by cherryicecream444
Summary: All Twilight Characters on the phone and txting too! There might even be chats if u'll lyk it. The first chapter is a start-off and isn't all funny. But it'll get funnier if you REVIEW!Rated T JUST IN CASE!
1. Chapter 1: Jacob calls Bella

_**Okay, so, Hi reader/s, This is my decided continuation to my deleted story "Total Randmoness" Yep. It's a JxB fanfic. **_

_**Edward is killed by Victoria.**_

_**In the previous story the ending was Jacob and Bella kiss passionately and intimately in Bella's room. :D Enjoy! I don't own Twilight. :D**_

**Story One**

**Jacob calls Bella**

_-ring,ring-_

**Bella: **Hello?

**Jacob: **Hey beautiful.

**Bella: **Jacob! Wow. You're up early. Uhh… Waaay too early; it's only 6 a.m.

**Jacob: **I know but nothing's too early for my favorite person.

**Bella: **Aww… No, really. Tell me the main reason.

**Jacob: **Ugh Okay. Sam's got us running late night shifts. (Frowns)

**Bella: **Again? Why?

**Jacob: **You wouldn't 'wanna know.

**Bella: **Being my scared, cliff-jumping self. I probably don't 'wanna know.

**Jacob: **Yep. Ooookay. Anyway, I'm going to the Cullens. Meet you there?

**Bella: **The Cullens? Why are you going there? You hate them.

**Jacob: **Well, they need their fridge-cleaner and it just so happens I'm dead-beat and hungry.

**Bella: **Okay fine. Anything for my Jacob.

**Jacob: **Aww… your so sweet Bells. Alright bye now. See you there!

**Bella: **Bye Jake. Luv Luvs.

**Jacob: **(Secretly Blushes) Love u too.

**Bella: **(Blushes too)

_-Both hang up-_

_**Okay, This isn't funny AT ALL but it's just my start-off chapter. It gets funnier I PROMISE! Plz. READ all the chapters! PLZ! I'll love you forever. Hahaha. Please REVIEW! PLZ!**_


	2. Chapter 2: Bella txts Jacob

_**I sadly do not own Twilight or anything else I'll mention later on. :D**_

**Chapter Two**

**Bella txts Jacob**

_-Bells is stuck in traffic (surprise, surprise!) on the way to the Cullens-_

**Bella:**

Jake, hi. Srry am l8. stuck in trffc. really sorry! see ya l8r k?

**Jacob:**

Bella, f u don't wnna cme 2 the Cullens. U cud jst tell me. No nid 2 mke lme lies.

**Bella:**

WHAT?! R u tlkin bout? M seryus I don't kno wuts goin on u knw?! I wud nvr lie 2 u jake u knw tht!

**Jacob: **

Ugh. Sori. i… sori. Its jst so unblivble. Trffc in 4ks?! Kinda… unblvble.

_-Bella doesn't reply for 30 seconds-_

**Jacob:**

Hello?! Reply plz.

_-Bella still doesn't reply-_

**Jacob:**

Plz.

_-Jacob finally calls Bella-_

**Bella: **What?!

**Jacob: **Why aren't you replying?!

**Bella: **I'm driving Jake.

**Jacob: **Ugh. Finally.

**Bella:**I'll see you there okay?! Relax.

**Jacob: **Okay fine. Bye.

**Bella: **Okay bye.

_-Both hang up-_

_**Hi guys. Sorry this is romance. But the nxt epi. Will be funny and have a lot more characters. I'll give a hint: It's a chat thing.! :D Plz Review! **___


	3. Chapter 3: Alice calls Jasper

_**I Do Not Own Twilight.**_

**Chapter Three**

**Alice calls Jasper**

_-3 a.m. in the morning-_

**Jasper: **Hello?

**Alice: **Jasper, it is 3 a.m in the morning. Please STOP PLAYING ROCK BAND!

**Jasper: **Why? You don't sleep.

**Alice: **I am meditating Jazz. Please. I'm tryin to concentrate on the decision of whether to use pumps or Mono Blanik Sandals tomorrow for when we go to Bella.

**Jasper: **Agh!

**Alice: **Why Jazz?

**Jasper: **.!

**Alice: **(Smiles evilly) I'm Soooo Sorry Jazzy-poo. I Love You SO SO SOOO MUCH! Mwah. Don't ever EVER leave me Promise?! You know that I L-O-V-E you!Oh Yeah, Jazzy, Emmett stole my cup-of-blood(pouts). Can you tell him to hunt his own mountain lion! Thank You. Love You. :D

**Jasper: **…

**Alice: **Jazz? Jasper?!

**Jasper: ** .Irritation. AAAhhh! It's… It's TOO Much!(Hangs up)

**Alice: **Ha Ha. (Smiles evilly again)

_On Facebook…_

**Alice Cullen…..**

**Irritated Jazzy-poo 5 mins. Ago. Ha ha sooo hilars. Who's awake? Chat with me. :D**

_On IM…_

**pixiecut-Alice**

**EMOme_yo-Jasper**

**bJ12345-Bella**

**crazyoverbella_fridgecleaner-Jacob**

**prettiestghurlontheplanet_444-Rosalie**

**eminems_147-Emmett**

**InsertUsernameHere-Carlisle**

**Esme-Esme**

**pixiecut **has logged in.

**bJ1234 **has logged in.

**pixiecut: **Bella?

**bJ1234: **Oh. Hi Alice

**pixiecut: **what are you doin up so late?

**bJ1234: **Oh. Cudnt sleep. Again

**pixiecut: **y?

**bJ1234: **uhhh…nothing bye.

**bJ1234 **has logged off.

**pixiecut: **Dammit. Why can't I see the past!

**prettiestghurlontheplanet_444 **has logged in

**pixiecut: **rose?

**prettiestghurlontheplanet_444: **yeah. The prettiest girl on the face of the earth. Why?

**pixiecut: **ugh. What is it wth you and self-centeredness.

**prettiestghurlontheplanet_444: **ur just soo obviously jealous cuz ur jst cute. Like a dog.

**pixiecut: **Urgh! Did … di u jst call moi a….a DOG?!!?

**prettiestghurlontheplanet_444 **has logged off.

**pixiecut: **yeah,. U bttr run. Ugh. Im leaving.

**pixiecut **has logged off.

**crazyoverbella_fridgecleaner **has logged in.

**crazyoverbella_fridgecleaner: **hello? Crap.

**bJ1234 **has logged in

**bJ1234: **Love You Jacob. :D I just used Edward to get you jealous. :P

**bJ1234 **has logged off.

**crazyoverbella_fridgecleaner: **What the-?

**crazyoverbella_fridgecleaner **has logged off.

_**Hi guys. Plz Review. I'm suckish at fanfics. Ahhaha. Anywhoo… Hint 4 nxt epi.: **_

_**Was it REAALLLYYY Bella who said those things? What will happen next? Hmmmm….. Nxt epi. Will be random and will only come out if I have at LEAST 2 reviews. Sorry I just gotta know if u lyk it. **____** if not ill stop and delete it. I got the next chpter ready all u gotta do Is review. Bash or Praise. JUST REVIEW. :D PLZ!**_


	4. Chapter 4: Jacob calls Bella

_**Hi Guys. Sorry it took me too long to put this up I was stuck at school and did a lot of editing. **____** But I'm back now. :D Thx 2 all the people who read and reviewed you guys made my day! Ur awesome. !**_

**Chapter Four**

**Jacob calls Bella**

**Bella: **Elo?

**Jacob: **Uhhh…. Hi.

**Bella: **Oh hey. How's my Jake?

**Jacob: **Uhmmm… Bella? Hello?!

**Bella: **What? Can't you hear me?

**Jacob: **Bella. Don't you remember what you told me last night?

**Bella: **What? Did we talk last night???

**Jacob: **On IM.

**Bella: **You logged in? Why didn't you tell me? I would've logged in.

**Jacob: **Uhh… okay, let me review the events of last night. You were offline I logged in, there was no one there, I said "Oh Crap" You suddenly logged in and said something about you only used Edward to get to me or something.

**Bella: **WHAT?!!? I never said anything.

**Jacob: **Yeah you did.

**Bella: **Did not!

**Jacob: **Did too!

**Bella: **Did not!

**Jacob: **Did not!

**Bella: **Did too!

**Jacob: **…

**Bella: **…

**Jacob: **…

**Bella:** Oooooohhhhhhhh…. Did not!

**Jacob: **Did t- Oh forget this. Let's not fight okay?

**Bella: **Okay Jake. Look, I gotta go, I'm going to Alice's they invited me to a slumber party or something.

**Jacob: **You agreed? (Chuckles)

**Bella: **Hey! It's not like you think.

**Jacob: **Yeah, sure.

**Bella: **Ugh! Look, Alice threatened me and Rosalie.

**Jacob: **Ohhh… Got it. Bye now. Sam's calling. Dang it! Late night shift. Bye babe.

**Bella: **Babe? Ugh. Don't call me that. That's a pig name. Bye anyway. Love you. _–hangs up-_

_-In the Cullen's home-_

**Alice: **Bella! You made it. I thought you would. Come in.

**Bella: **Er, thanks Alice. This is going to be great. (Sarcastic)

**Alice:** I know! We can do makeovers and dress-up and stuff! :D

**Bella: **Yeah, greeeaaatttt.

**Alice: **The theme is Japanese make-up – American Food. :D

**Bella: **Uhhh… Oookkaaayyy… If you need me I'll be at the corner not caring so… don't need me okay? Okay! Bye.

**Rosalie: **C'mon Bella don't be a stick in the mud. C'mon (Pulls Bella up)

**Bella: **You're extremely enjoying this huh?

**Rosalie: **You have no idea.

**Bella: **(Frowns)

**Alice: **C'mon guys.

_-They go up to Alice's room for the slumber party-_

**Alice: **Welcome!

**Bella: **Whoa.

**Alice: **It's not much I hope you enjoy though. :D

**Bella: **Huh.

_-We skip hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours (…) of girl talk and bonding-_

**Alice: **Ha ha! Okay, okay. Time for Japanese make-up time!

**Rosalie and Bella: **(Fake sarcasm) Yeeeeyyyyyy.

**Alice: **Okay Bella. You first.

**Bella: **Fine. Your just sooo lucky I spend half my time trying so hard to please people.

**Alice: **Well then I guess I'm one lucky vampire. :D

_-Alice starts putting thick(VERY VERY thick) special Japanese eye shadow on Bella in a special way-_

**Bella: **Hey is this normal make-up? You know like the ones I use?

**Alice: **Nope I ordered it from Japan. It's special Japanese make-up. :D

**Bella: **Okay, well, how does it come off?

**Alice: **(Calmly says while putting on thicker make up on Bella's now-puffy face) Oh, it doesn't.

**Bella: **(Freezes in shock and horror [Rosalie gives out a little chuckle but is unable to hide her unstoppable laugh]. After 1 minute) WHAT?!

**Rosalie: **!!!!!

**Bella: **You about done?

**Rosalie: **Yes, yes I am. :D (giggles a little) HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay I'm done. … ! Okay NOW I'm done. :D Ehem. (Silences herself)

**Alice: **(Rolls eyes and says while laughing a little…) Relax Bella I was kidding. It'll come off if you rub wet wipes on it or make up remover or something.

**Bella: **-sigh- Alice! Don't do that. I was scared as hell.

**Rosalie: **[I wish you'd _go_ to hell]

**Bella: **I heard that.

**Rosalie: **Good.

**Alice: **Guys.

**Bella and Rosalie: **Sorry.

**Bella: **(Yawn) I'm tired night guys. (Lies down and is asleep after a minute)

……**..**

**Bella: **GUYS! Stop staring at me when I sleep!

**Alice and Rosalie:** Sorry.

**Alice: **We're going down stairs okay. Bye.

**Bella: **Bye.

………

**Bella: **GUYS!

**Alice and Rosalie: **Sorry. Bye (Goes down the stairs)

_**Hi. I DO NOT own Twilight or anything else up there. :D Plz review tell me f its lamely crappy or awesomely awesome! Please just REVIEW. I need 2 or 3 reviews b4 I post the nxt one. Sorry. Just do it. Trash and Bash or Praise and Worship my work people. **____**)) PLEASE REVIEW!**_


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